21st September 2006,
5.27pm Thursday evening. Today is happening day. I went to Pantai Mutiara Hospital early morning with 2 of my collegues- Choong and Magdalene. Have a short overview of e-THIS system and the workflow. Work as usual, training, department meeting, and normal routine. I appreciate all that the staff has done, even though sometimes we got a bit quarrels, but learning to see beyond the weakness and accepting the non-lovable things. Learning to look beyond the black dot, and appreciate the white surface. Easily said than done. It's always relationship that is so difficult to deal with, relationship that builds and destroys. What I can learn here? Still..no man an island, and we need one another. I need to relate, and I love to relate to others. I am learning- even getting to know new members in Abundance CG, a different set of environment compared to my previous CG, learning to relate and learn from the wise. Abundance CG composition is well balanced: with married couples with kids, older people - Pastor Mei and Pastor Eddie, Susie (Ps. Sam's wife), young couples, and few of singles and young adult. It's different from my old CG with all young adults, and some couples and married young couples.
I got a mail from Pragas yesterday. I just got to know that he gonna resign and give up his job to go full time missionary course for half a year, then proceed to his calling into mission field to Sri Lanka for another 2 years. He's giving up his work, his home and everything- and persuing the higher calling God has for him. It's not easy, require great faith and such passion for God. It's still go down to the relationship with God- the friendship with God, the love for Him to move out and touch others. Yes, I am encouraged. I'm always encouraged to see people of God doing great exploit for Him. I was once on fire, and will do anything at all for Him, but now I've diluting down, stilling down...The cares of the world has draw me a distance from God. I've hurt Him again and again. I have to get serious and mean what I want to do for Him...
Another person that I want to give thanks for is Benji. A man after God's own heart. I told myself I'll never never put any expectation on him. I've seen so many friendship injured because of expectations on one another-broken trust, disappointment, different phase of life, people come people go. I pray that I will always cheerish friends that God has put along my path. I'm thankful, for people He brought to encourage me in my time of sadness - always pointing me to Christ, keeping me from falling away. Benji has always been a good friend. His honesty and love for God, his powerful testimony, his sharp word of knowledge, indeed a blessing to those who knows him. I hope the best for him...in whatever he does, the Lord will blessed and reward him plentiful.
Friends are friends, God is God. Where is the focus? I learned that in all things, God will always be the focus, no one else, but Christ alone. He is the Centre of the Mark...in everything we do. With this wonderful people come along my path, where is my stand? I must start somewhere...It's long, the mediocre has been long,...what You want me to do at this point, O Lord? How Lord? Where to start Lord? I want to love You more. Yes- start small, in knowing Him in Prayer, communion, His Words, devotion- lifestyle of worship- then in Cell, Family, Church...Can I do it Lord? I've been discouraged and disappointed so many times, can I do it? "Yes, Focus on Me"....Thank You Lord, for giving me the 2nd chance, one after another. Thank You for Your Grace that's so free...I will try my best Lord, please be patient with me. I love You, Daddy!
